Godly leadership is not a gift, but a responsibility. An ungodly leader desires to rule others so people can serve him, while a godly leader is given authority so he can serve the people. The godly leader looks after his followers, cares for the people, and bears a responsibility for his followers welfare. The following passage shows this responsibility (as well as the fact that there are leaders):

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” (Hebrews 13:17, ESV)

In your list of verses you highlight verses where people call themselves “servants,” but you neglect times when the Apostles call themselves “Apostle.” At times, Paul defends his authority as an apostle (Gal 1:11ff) to show why they must follow what he says. Other times Paul states that he has the authority to command, but chooses not to. All of this shows that there is such a thing as a leader in Christianity.

At the end of the day, the problem is not leadership but sin. If you have encounters leaders, even Christian leaders, who have mistreated their followers or even you, then perhaps you should pray for them because they will have to give an account for how they treated the people God entrusted to their care.

The words “leader” and “pastor” seems like a “high place.” Yes?

Jesus always took and recommended the “low place.” Yes?

Jesus humbled Himself, made himself of no reputation
and took on the form of a servant. Php 2:7

Doesn’t the “Title” pastor/leader give you a reputation
wether you want it or not?

Jesus in Mat 23:10 told His disciples “NOT” to call
themselves master/“leaders”
for you have one master/”leader” the Christ.

King James Version –
Neither be ye called masters:
for one is your Master, even Christ.

The Interlinear Bible –
Nor be called leaders,
for one is your leader the Christ.

Phillips Modern English –
you must not let people call you leaders,
you have only one leader, Christ.

Today’s English Version –
nor should you be called leader.
your one and only leader is the Messiah.

The Amplified-
you must not be called masters ( leaders )
for you have one master ( leader ) the Christ.

Jesus told His disciples not to be called “leaders” and none did.

Ro 1:1 Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ,
Php 1:1 Paul and Timotheus, the servants of Jesus Christ,
Col 4:12 Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ,
Tit 1:1 Paul, a servant of God,
Jas 1:1 James, a servant of God
2Pe 1:1 Simon Peter, a servant

His disciples all called themselves “servants,”
none called themselves “leaders.” None? None.
None called themselves “servant-leader.” None.

If someone calls themself a “leader”
or thinks they are a “leader;”

Are they a “disciple of Christ?”

In the Bible, How many people… have the title pastor?
In the Bible, How many people are… referred to as pastor?
In the Bible, How many people are… ordained as a pastor?
In the Bible, How many congregations are… led by a pastor?

Be blessed in your search for truth… Jesus

And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold:
them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice;
and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.
John 10:16

One Fold – One Shepherd – One Voice.
If Not Now, When?

Be blessed and be a blessing

Also, keep in mind that the legalism you speak of does not always look mean, ugly, or authoritative. Sometimes it is cool, hip, and fun but it always leaves out Christ and our need for him.