Be The Fruit

Would you marry two non-believers?

by Bill Blair on 23/09/08 at 11:37 am

(Had some problems with this original post and it got deleted so I am re-posting) 

Russel Moore, the dean of the School of Theology at Southern Seminary answers this question with an emphatic NO in article that can be read here.

The main basis of his argument is that the minister of the gospel is just that, a minister of the gospel and not a civil servant that represents the state. Essentially, if you follow his thinking, when a minister marries two non-believers they cease to be acting as ministers and become agents of the state presiding over civil ceremony. The primary logic flows from the idea of the Church as the community of believers. (paraphrasing here) Moore would argue that a minister of the gospel has no business officiating a wedding of two non-believers because they are not being joined in the community of believers where they might receive discipline and discipleship. So if they are not being joined as part of the community of believers, the Church, then there is no reason for a minister to participate in the ceremony because they are outsiders and the Church is not to hold the couple accountable (1 Cor 5:12-13). Read his commentary to better understand his argument.

I appreciate Dr. Moore’s viewpoint that I presented above. The idea of the minister being a leader in the community of believers resonates with me because I have such a great desire to see the Church be the community of believers it is supposed to be. But is this really the issue? I don’t think the real issue is with pastors marrying two “professing” non-believers, but with marrying people when without knowing with any certainty of their position in Christ. I can’t say that I would fault a pastor who agrees to marry “professing” non-believers when asked as long as the pastor takes the opportunity to communicate to the couple what their greatest need which of course is salvation in Jesus.

As stated earlier, I think the biggest problem is with ministers marrying people when they have no idea whether they are believers or not. I can give a personal example to show the problem. When my wife and I got married, we went through a marriage class, but we were never asked to give a testimony or to explain our beliefs. If you look at our testimonies now, it seems that I was a believer and she was not. So the man and the church that married us married an unequally yoked couple. I did not realize it at the time because I was still young in the faith, and I thought she was a believer. Thankfully God took care of that problem in quick fashion after we got married and now has her on the way to being a good pastor’s wife .

In his commentary, Dr. Moore calls ministers to have the courage to say no, but I think we need to have the courage to first ask the question, “Is Jesus your savior?” Not only that, but we need to go beyond that and spend as much time as needed to make sure people are believers. In our culture, it is not an easy task to discern the beliefs of others because there are so many people out there who think of themselves as Christians, but are not true believers. The real courage we need is to move beyond the quick response and find out if there is any evidence of their stated beliefs showing up in their lives.

I am afraid that many of us may have a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy when it comes to finding out the true beliefs of others. This goes beyond the marriage question to the way we view our friends, family, and neighbors. If there is any notion of a profession we tend to accept it as truth with very little thought of whether there is fruit in their lives or not. I say “we” because I am just as guilty in this regard.

What say you?  Is the real issue with the question to marry two non-believers or is it with not taking the time to know, to the best of our ability, whether the people getting married (or we just know in general) are truly believers or not?