Be The Fruit

God’s Design for Sexual Fulfillment: Part 3

by Bill Blair on 18/09/08 at 5:45 am

Last week I began to explain some of the basics of God’s design for sexual intimacy here to set the stage for what I believe is the key to truly enjoy sex as God intended it to be enjoyed which is within the confines of a one-flesh relationship of marriage where both the man and woman can be naked and unashamed and enjoy one another to the fullest.  Today, I will continue with the basics and begin to lead into what a one-flesh relationship is.

Sexual Intimacy is Giving

God’s design for sexual intimacy is never self-serving or self-centered. The biblical description of love is that it never seeks its own way (1 Cor 13:5), and God’s design for sexual intimacy follows this pattern. Paul teaches that both the man’s and woman’s duties are to fulfill the sexual needs of the other (1 Cor 7:4). Paul goes on to teach that each person does not have authority over their own body, but that it belongs to their spouse (1 Cor 7:5), which shows a total giving of authority and pleasure to one’s spouse. Such an unselfish focus by both parties can have an incredible impact during times of intimacy.(1) Daniel Akin explains it this way: “Both husband and wife have definite and equal needs that are to be met in marriage (1 Cor 7:3), and each is to meet the needs of the other and not his own (Phil 2:3-5).”(2) Unselfishness is clearly a part of God’s design for sexual intimacy.

Sexual Intimacy is Enjoyable.

When the Bible speaks on the joy of sexual intimacy, it uses language that shows that sexual intimacy in marriage is not to be just enjoyed, but that we should be thoroughly intoxicated by it. First, consider the following verses from Proverbs: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Prov 5:17-18). These verses are contained within a section of scripture that primarily provides a warning against adultery, but these particular verses show God’s intent for sexual fulfillment. The exhortation plainly teaches that God does not expect us to just be faithful to our marriage vows, but he expects us to thoroughly enjoy sexual intimacy within marriage.

If the above verses do not make God’s intent clear for sexual enjoyment within marriage, then one should direct their attention to the “Song of Songs,” or otherwise known as “The Song of Solomon.” The Song of Solomon is an entire book of the Bible that is devoted to the celebration of the enjoyment of sexual intimacy within marriage. The Song of Solomon “portrays a physical relationship between husband and wife that is filled with uninhibited passion and exhilarating delight” (3). The language contained in this book can leave no doubt that God’s design for sexual fulfillment can eclipse any notion of pleasure promoted by modern secular culture. “The whole book resonates with this sort of exotic, extravagant verbal foreplay between the lovers.”(4) The Song of Solomon provides a clear picture of what God intends for sexual intimacy in marriage to be like. The clear picture is that God intends for men and women to marry and enjoy one another with an uninhibited passion that can only be achieved within the confines of marriage.

Whole One-Flesh Relationship

In the beginning, God created man and woman. The Bible states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Gen 2:24-25). Jesus later affirmed this “one-flesh” concept when he first quoted Genesis 2:24 then added the following: “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate” (Matt 19:6). The true nature of the “one-flesh” relationship is difficult to understand, but one aspect is certainly the physical sexual union. David Clyde Jones explains, “Sexual intercourse belongs to marriage as a distinctive aspect of becoming one-flesh, but the biblical expression conveys much more than this.”(5) To better understand this idea, I have chosen to differentiate between the “one-flesh” physical union and a whole “one-flesh” relationship.

Next week I will lay out the differences between a one-flesh union and a one-flesh relationship and begin to show why it takes the relationship rather than the union to enjoy God’s gift to us fully.

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(1)Stuart Scott, The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective, 147.
(2)Daniel L. Akin, “Sermon: The Beauty and Blessings of the Christian Bedroom.”
(3)Carolyn Mahaney, “Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Wife Needs to Know,” in Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (Wheaton: Crossway, 2005), 202.
(4)C. J. Mahaney, “Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know,” in Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (Wheaton: Crossway, 2005), 157.
(5)David Clyde Jones, Biblical Christian Ethics, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1994) 158.