Be The Fruit

Book Review: Pre-engagement: 5 Questions to ask Yourselves

by Bill Blair on 27/08/08 at 5:45 am

Summary
The main purpose of Pre-Engagement: 5 Questions to Ask Yourselves is to make singles answer the difficult questions regarding their prospective mates prior to engagement. The key principle is that answering these tough questions before making any commitment can save a lot of pain that may occur if they are answered later (2). This short booklet is full of key principles and probing questions that should serve as a reality check to any person that is single looking towards getting married one day.

The first key principle addressed in this book is that Christians need to only marry Christians. Included in this section is a discussion that questions the reader’s motives for marriage. If a person is looking to be fulfilled by getting married, then such person is putting other things above their relationship with Christ.

The second key principle is that Christians need to solve problems biblically. There is no doubt that problems will develop; therefore, a single Christian needs to make sure they solve such problems biblically and not with the wisdom of the world.

The third key principle is that the single Christian needs to make sure that they and their prospective spouse are prepared to leave their parents and cleave to one another. Parents can be great resources for young couples, but married people must be able to put the relationship with their spouse above that of their parents if they want a healthy marriage.

The fourth key principle is that single Christians need consider what others think of their relationship. Others may be able to tell a person a great deal about their relationship. Advice should be sought from all types of people including friends, co-workers, parents, and pastors.

The final principle is that the single Christian needs to examine all of the above principles together, and then determine whether they want to proceed towards marriage. If a person follows the advice and answers all the questions in this book, they will have considered all the key options. Once again, the main purpose of this book is to consider these principles and answer tough questions before making a commitment of engagement.

Critique
It is very difficult to find any disagreement with this book considering its intent. This book is designed to be an easy read that makes single people stop and think about the ramifications of marriage before getting engaged. There probably could be other things included, but it would take away from the ease of use. My only disagreement is that the book used Jer. 29:11 as a verse that the reader should base his or her decision of marriage on trusting that whatever choice they make will be good because the Lord has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” The problem is that those words were not addressed to anyone who will read the book, they were addressed to Israel. The reader should make a decision trusting in the providence of God, but not because of that verse.

Application
As a married man, it is difficult to see how a book targeting “pre-engaged” people could apply to my life. As a father of two girls, however, I think the questions in this book are of great importance. The questions in this book are things that my girls will need to consider; therefore, I hope to begin to teach them such things as they grow older. My oldest daughter just turned eleven so the time is coming sooner than I would like.

In addition to teaching these principles to my daughters, my wife and I know several single people who want to get married. Some of them would not be able to get past the first question regarding whatever relationship they may or may not be in now. Although they are professing believers, some are clearly looking for a spouse to complete them which makes them not have Christ as their Lord in a practical manner (3). I plan to get more of these booklets to hand out to some of these people.

Check out this book here.